The feudal Hangover

They say we have a colonial hangover - what with Landsdowne, Dalhousie, Barlowganj, Miranda House, Kingsway Camp and all the other cling-ons of the colonial era. I say that is still recent wake up people we have a feudal hangover.

Confused?? Well, well, well, any student worth his salt should know by now. Fine let me spell it out for you - L-A-N-D-L-O-R-D. It is only fitting that with the admission season on I speak about this particular species which has been multiplying faster than even locusts, and yes you guessed it, munching away at all that we have!

Welcome the Manorial Lord as the new age Landlord. They come with their own categories and are quite diverse. The ones with an entire building or two on rent boasting of AC rooms, wireless connection with three meals a day to the humble single storage room lent out to a tenant who in the true sense resides as a paying guest. The latter in particular catches my attention.

This category has its own duties and obligations so to say. The lord and his mistress (that's what they called the wife back then) feel free to run you on small errands, their tiny-tots deem it their fundamental right to coerce you into their silly games, and you could be left without a morsel of food if the family decides to go eating out. The tenant here is as patient as a seer and I do envy her. But even the sagest of sages are allowed to lose their temper once in a while. And so with our occupant who deems it her moral, temperamental, and emotional right to spank or threaten the exasperating child. But we all know the SQ (Smartness Quotient) of the average dilli wala 21st century baccha. So be it, the poor tenant has to adopt a policy of appeasement (read an ice-cream, chocolate, or one hour of continuous bowling or maybe rolling would be more fitting) to prevent the little devil from running to the ever-so doting mommy darling with a plethora of complains. But that is for the unfortunate few who end up with families who think they have acquired a new serf of sorts for them.

Hmm..where actually is the feudal angle apart from the serf bit?? Well, there is obedience, loyalty, benevolence, compassion, and most important of all an agreement. Now this agreement can be a written or verbal one. The tenant knows it reeks of duplicity and yet all that can be done is to sign your name in ink and help the scheming overlord to evade taxes. Besides there is the additional question of security money ranging from one to three months binding the poor students in that deathly grip of monetary barnacles.

The rules as in a manor are laid by our lord. Rules of all sorts - what shall be served to which variety, when the esteemed gates of thy royal household be shut, the kinds of clothes, the social conduct in the park especially the last two lest any bad name should come to this distinguished parsonage! There is also a threat and penalty for drinking or smoking. Now the government might be going all gaga with its hair-brained policies on smoking and drinking but to no avail. Our lord wields real control, proving that the local head is superior to a distant democratically elected head. His decree is supreme especially because he has real power, the power of eviction without even returning your security.

What would be a lord be if he does not display compassion, rewards or benevolence? Those rare occasions when a tenant meets with an accident many of these lords actually take the student for treatment and of course forward the bills to the parents. The late-comers with their beseeching glances are often pardoned. The rewards come in the form of a slab of ice-cream or some other dessert on a festival. Not to forget the royal family does eat a vain sumptuous meal. The lord after all has to live up to his image and put on a display of grandeur and benefaction.

Who dare go against this new age lord? But some do wish to depart no longer swearing allegiance to his lordship. The consequence- banishment from the property, ostracization till the time you bundle up your belongings, seizure of the security money and a verbal volley of wrath.

Besides the landlords have their own personal coterie some of them acting as spies - from the dealer to the house maid(yet another feudal hangover), the cook, and all the others. But the biggest spies of all are the immediate royal family who make it their business to keep abreast of the personal life of each and every inmate( if i may use a strong term like that ).

How on earth could I forget the most important thing, but of course the taxes. No they don't charge tithes. However, at the end of the month you have a water bill, a DTH bill, a cleaning bill, an ironing bill, and the big daddy of it all - the electricity bill. Some fix even the electricity usage rate by themselves! No wonder many a humble tenants choose to languish in the heat without even a cooler in temperatures as high as 45 degrees Celsius rather than fluff up the coffers of these rogue landlords.

But before we conjure a mental image of these money suctioning new age manorial lords let us concede there are also few who are genuinely just. Well so it was in the feudal age, a fair share of decent, and not calculating-scheming lords. But rest assured the age of innocence is gone and that ever so charming breed of lords is fast dying out and at a pace that not even Usain Bolt would take up the challenge to beat it!

Want to be a lord, a new age landlord? Invest in property its the sure shot way to purgatory!!